<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Goodnight Irene Extras by BlackRabbit</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25674622">Goodnight Irene Extras</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackRabbit/pseuds/BlackRabbit'>BlackRabbit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Goodnight Irene [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>MASH (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Deleted Scenes, Drama, Extra Stuff, Fluff, Multi, Romance, Smut, War, Whump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:00:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,223</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25674622</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackRabbit/pseuds/BlackRabbit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a compilation of things that either didn't fit into Goodnight Irene, or I thought about after the fact and though they have no place in the story, worked better taking place during war times. Not necessary to the main story and not in any order because I just write them when I think of them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce &amp; Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Goodnight Irene [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861669</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The River</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>*Drama/Fluff* PG rated</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Snow had settled over the camp, a blanket of white marred by a river of slushy brown mud from jeeps and ambulances that cut through the compound. Christmas was still along time off but by the atmosphere of the doctors and nurses, one would swear Saint Nick would be flying overhead any minute. </p><p><br/>
Father Mulcahy was to bring the children from the orphanage to spend the night in camp while the roof of the orphanage was being repaired. The thick blanket of snow had collapsed a portion of the old roof and no one wanted the children to suffer the cold. Potter would be taking some of the corpsmen to aid in its repair while the rest of the camp cared for the children.</p><p><br/>
Irene was just as excited as the rest of them, but a little apprehensive. She loved children but hadn’t dealt with them much in her everyday life. Having no siblings and being an army brat, she had no experience. </p><p>“What if they don’t like me,” she asked, biting her lip.</p><p>“Calm down, they’re kids,” Alice said, taking the last soldier’s temperature. “Give them a piece of candy and you’ve made a friend for life.”</p><p>“Worked with my niece,” the soldier chuckled. “My sister lived halfway across the country from me. When I met my niece for the first time, she was already four years old. I gave her some candy and a doll and now I’m her favorite uncle.”</p><p>Alice recorded the soldier’s temp on his clipboard and hung it on the end of the bed. “See? Kids are easy. You’ll see.”</p><p>Outside Irene could hear a vehicle passing. Coora glanced out the window and her face lit up.</p><p>“They’re here!”</p><p>“Hold your horses,” Alice said. “You leave before the next shift gets here and Houlihan’ll have you restocking supply.”</p><p>Coora’s shoulders dropped but she didn’t move away from the door.</p><p>“Here,” Alice said, grabbing some sweets from the desk drawer and shoving them in Irene’s hands. “Take these.”</p><p>Irene put the candy in her pocket as Nurse Grey, Nurse Able, and Helen walked in for their shift. Alice and Irene signed themselves out, Alice scrawling Coora’s name in the out box while their bunkmate ran out into the compound.</p><p>“Grey,” Alice said flatly. “Thought you were off today and Kellye was supposed to be on shift.”</p><p>Shirley smiled but her eyes narrowed. “Well, Kellye was so excited to see the children I offered to trade shifts with her.”</p><p>“Convenient.”</p><p>“Alice, let’s go,” Irene said, tugging her friend’s sleeve. Irritation boiled under the surface but she held her tongue. Better to get it go now than make some snide remark that would only cause trouble and ruin her day.</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” Alice said. “We’ll be sure to say hi to Hawkeye for you.”<br/>
Irene followed Alice into the dressing room. “You really like to stir up trouble, don’t you?” She slipped out of her white coat and hung it in the nurses’ locker.</p><p>“I really don’t like her.”</p><p>“Oh, I get it.”</p><p>“You wanna prank her with me? I’m thinking syrup in her bath slippers.”</p><p>“Too easy to wash,” Irene laughed. “No, I think I’d rather put a couple pieces of that week-old fish Igor’s been trying to pass off in her pillow. Not enough for her to feet it, but enough for her to smell it.”</p><p>“Oh, we could put salt in her toothpaste.”</p><p>“Or dye in her shampoo,” Irene giggled. </p><p>“That’s just plain evil,” Alice swatted her with a hat before putting it on. “But I love it.”</p><p>“Do I hear plans for debauchery?”</p><p>“Hiya Hawkeye,” Alice said in a cheery tone. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>Irene’s smile disappeared in a flash and she turned her back on them, pretending to fiddle with a loose button on her jacket. She hadn’t even heard him come in.</p><p>“I thought I’d check on Corporal Evans before I go greet the kids.”</p><p>“He’s doing a lot better,” Alice said. “The infection’s cleared. I think he should be able to leave soon. Do you want to take a look for yourself?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’d better. No offense I just—”</p><p>“You’re a control freak,” she laughed.</p><p>“I find that term highly offensive and entirely true,” Hawk said as he walked toward post-op. He paused beside Irene, looking over her shoulder to the button. “Meet me at my tent later and I’ll fix that for you.”</p><p>Irene gasped when his breath warmed her ear and she snapped around to face him, nearly falling back on the bench. “Captain,” she said, her voice breaking. She cleared her throat and began again.</p><p>“Captain, your tent will be crawling with young children by nightfall. Even if there was a chance, which there isn’t, I wouldn’t attempt anything in a room full of kids.”</p><p>“Ah, yeah, I almost forgot,” he mumbled. “Well, the supply room—”</p><p>“Captain, honestly!” she laughed. “I swear.”</p><p>“Alright, Romeo, you heard the lady,” Alice giggled, giving Hawkeye a playful shove to push him away from Irene. “We’ll see you later.”</p><p>For all their jokes, Hawkeye still smiled, completely undeterred by Irene’s rejection. He gave them a silly wave goodbye and headed into post-op while Irene and Alice went outside.</p><p>Children ran in the fresh snow, ushered toward the small clearing that usually served as a lower chopper pad before it was covered in a blanket of white. At least it was away from the minefield. </p><p>Alice took a toddler from one of the older children and put the little girl on her hip, all the while talking and cooing at her. A boy of about four came up behind Irene and tugged at her pants leg, pointing to the toddler. He said something in Korean, but Irene didn’t understand.</p><p>“What is he saying?”</p><p>“I think he’s telling you that this little girl is his sister,” Alice said. </p><p>The boy made grabby hands at Irene who picked him up. He giggled and clamped his hands over his mouth. Irene had no idea what he was babbling about, but she handed him a piece of candy from her pocket anyway. The child beamed and pointed to his chest, repeating the word “Hwan”.</p><p>“Oh, is that your name?”</p><p>He nodded. </p><p>“Hello Hwan, my name is Irene. Can you say Irene?”</p><p>Hwan didn’t try. He shook his head and laughed, occupying himself with opening the candy wrapper while Irene and Alice carried the children toward the snowy field to play. </p><p>The children took off from there. Personnel helped them build snowmen and start snowball fights. A few corpsmen rounded up some of the large metal baking sheets from the kitchen for the kids to use as sleds.</p><p>“Finally those things’ll be used to make someone happy,” Irene said. “Aren’t we a little close to the river?”</p><p>“No, it should be fine,” Alice said, more occupied with the little girl than the terrain.<br/>
Hwan pointed at the ground and Irene set the boy down to run with the other children. All was chaos but not in the normal way. This was much better. Klinger was showing some of the kids how to sled down the hill, tucking one up into his warm, fur coat. The child giggled and pulled at his nose.</p><p>Margaret was making a snowman with a group of young girls and BJ rode a boy around on his shoulders. Hawkeye…. Irene’s eyes lingered too long on the surgeon as he trotted across the field to join a snowball fight. He gently threw snowballs at the kids who rebelled full force. One smacked him right in the face with a large ball and he burst into laughter, snow in his hair.</p><p>“Earth to Irene,” Alice said, waving her hand in front of Irene’s eyes. “Instead of staring at him, why don’t you play instead? Go toss a snowball at his fat head.”</p><p>“What? No, I don’t think—”</p><p>“Then don’t think. You’re such a chicken! Go hit him!”</p><p>“Alice I—”</p><p>“I said go!” Alice knelt, packed a ball, and shoved it in Irene’s hands. </p><p>Kellye came up beside her, along with Coora and Helen. “I’m gonna peg him so hard he’ll never put his hands on my snacks from home again,” she giggled.</p><p>“You’re getting Hawk too?” Alice asked.</p><p>“You bet we are!” Coora looked a little uncomfortable, but proceeded anyway, following the pair of laughing nurses toward their prey. </p><p>“To hell with it!” Irene said, rushing forward with them, Alice close behind. </p><p>The group of nurses descended on Hawkeye before he had a chance to react, pelting him with snowballs to the giggles and laughter of excited children who spurred them on in Korean. Hawk fell to the ground, rolled behind a small wall he’d made and started lobbing snowballs back before realizing he was too outnumbered. </p><p>He rushed out to chase them, slipping in the snow as Alice dodged to the side and he barreled past her. Kellye ran ahead of Irene, looking over her shoulder to see Hawk gaining on them, Helen and Coora still throwing snowballs, no longer caring who they hit. A few of the children joined in and snowballs pelted Irene from every angle. She let out a little cry when an arm caught her around her middle and pulled her into the snow. </p><p>The world spun and she found herself on the ground, tight in Hawkeye’s grasp. The other nurses pelted him with snowballs and Irene wrestled to be released but he was stronger than he looked and rolled to the side, hiding his head behind her back. She laughed so hard her cheeks hurt and when Hawk squirmed his fingers dug into her ribs.</p><p>“Hawkeye!” Someone screamed but it was far off. </p><p>The next time was closer, clearer, and the chaos screeched to a halt. Hawk still had his arms around her, half covered in snow, but he sat up a little to see who was calling him.</p><p>“Hawk hurry!” </p><p>He was up in an instant, sprinting toward the growing crowd on the riverbank. Irene and Alice followed, but he hit the bank before them. The river had frozen around the shoreline, leaving a strip about a foot wide in the center where the current was still visible. A tree that had fallen during the last storm spanned the river and sitting atop it, Hwan. The young boy was crying, too afraid to move.</p><p>Irene clutched at Hawkeye’s arm when she saw Hwan.</p><p>“How did he get out there?” Alice asked.</p><p>“I’m not sure,” Father Mulcahy said, “but I have to go get him.”</p><p>“Wait, Father.” Hawk stepped forward and stripped off his heavy coat. “I’ll get him.”</p><p>Irene held Hawk’s coat tight to her chest, terrified the little boy would fall into the icy river. Hawk spoke quietly to the child as he mounted the log, shuffling slowly forward on the narrow tree. Inch by inch, Irene hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until she was getting lightheaded. Bark sloughed off the tree under Hawk’s feet and his ankles shuddered with every step.</p><p>Hwan reached up for Hawkeye when he neared, and Hawk turned to pass the child to Father Mulcahy who had taken the first unsteady steps onto the fallen tree. Mulcahy grabbed Hwan and Hawk lost his footing, plunging into the frigid waters. Thin ice broke loose and floated in chunks after him.</p><p>“Hawk!” Irene ran to the river’s edge, but the current had already pushed him downstream. </p><p>A thick section of reeds and tall grass packed with snow kept the rescue efforts pushed back until about fifty yards downstream when they could get to the bank. Hawk thrashed around, trying to stand in on the slippery rocks that coated the bottom of the river. Mud sucked at his boots and one of them came off and started floating down ahead of him. Klinger rushed after it while BJ and Radar splashed into the shallows, breaking ice around their legs and yelping about the cold. </p><p>Irene tried to push forward into the river too, getting one boot in before Alice and Kellye yanked her back. She lost balance and landed on her rear; freezing water pooled in her boot. Hawk’s coat was still clutched tight to her chest and she waited with bated breath for BJ and Radar to haul Hawk back to the riverbank. Hawkeye flopped onto his back, drenched, missing a boot, and gasping for air. The men hooked their arms under his and dragged him farther up before kneeling in the grass themselves. Hawk hadn’t been in the river long but he was already pale, shivering violently, and his lips were blue.</p><p>“You alright?” Irene asked, shuffling closer.</p><p>He trembled but nodded. </p><p>“Get him back to camp and into some dry clothes,” Potter ordered. “And get these kids to the mess tent for some hot chocolate. I think we’ve had enough of a snow day. And Radar, set em’ up with a movie, too.”</p><p>Radar had matched the Colonel line for line and was already running for camp before Potter could finish speaking. </p><p>BJ helped Hawk up and they headed for the Swamp with Alice and Irene in tow. The rest of the nurses went back to help wrangle up the children.</p><p>“We’ll get towels,” Alice offered, pulling Irene toward the supply hut.</p><p>When they got to the Swamp Hawkeye was changed and wrapped up in blankets by the heater, teeth chattering. </p><p>“I’ll go get him some hot chocolate,” BJ said, meeting them at the door.</p><p>“I’ll go too.” Alice dumped the towels in Irene’s arms and left with BJ, giving her a wink as she passed.</p><p>Irene gritted her teeth and silently cursed Alice for leaving her alone with Hawkeye. She sighed and turned to see him staring at her, water dripping from his hair. He looked pathetic. Her shoulders dropped and she set the towels and his coat on his cot.</p><p>“Is there anything I can do?” she asked.</p><p>“Well, y-you know skin to skin c-contact brings up the body t-t-temperature faster. Maybe we c-can give it a go?”</p><p>Irene shook her head and grinned. “You really are the worst.” She grabbed a towel and put it on his head before sitting down beside him and using it to dry his hair. He leaned into her hands and she pulled the towel back to see him staring at her. She paused, shifting her focus between his beautiful blue eyes, then cleared her throat and pulled away, letting the towel drop around his shoulders.</p><p>“You should bundle up more.” She got up and grabbed his robe and coat to drape them over his shoulders. “I should go now.”</p><p>“Wait,” he said, catching her hand as she turned away. His touch was icy cold and instead of pulling away, she squeezed. “T-thank you.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Why d-don’t you stay?”</p><p>“Hawkeye—”</p><p>“B-Beej and Alice’ll be b-back soon.” His teeth chattered and a chill shook his entire body. “T-there’ll be h-hot c-chocolate.”</p><p>“Are you trying to bribe me, Captain?” Irene smiled, then realized she was still holding his hand. She’d said it before and she’d say it again, he was trouble. </p><p>“Is it w-working?”</p><p>Irene sighed and sat beside him. “You’d have to try harder than Army surplus hot chocolate. But… I guess I can stay.” She put an arm around his shoulders and rubbed his arms to warm him. “Thank you. For saving Hwan. You beat me to it.”</p><p>“Y-you would have g-gone out there?”</p><p>“I wish you’d stop talking. Makes me feel bad for you.”</p><p>“G-got you to h-hug me,” he chattered.</p><p>“Shut up. And yes, I would have gone out there. You’re really something else.”</p><p>“T-thought I was t-the worst?” he grinned.</p><p>“Yeah. You’re that too.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. MASH Olympics</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Another section that doesn't fit into the Goodnight Irene timeline but works as a fun AU.</p><p>Smut. You have been warned.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Suggestive Smut... ish? Not too explicit but rated M anyway</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>MASH Olympics – Part 1</strong>
</p><p>“C’mon Irene,” Alice whined. “We need one more nurse. And you don’t even have to worry about Shirley because she’s on R&amp;R.”</p><p><br/>“Alright, fine,” Irene relented.</p><p>Hawkeye beamed. “Your steed awaits,” he said, helping her up onto a box so she could climb on his shoulders. His eyes trailed up her legs to the hem of her little army issue shorts and silently thanked whoever designed them. She situated herself and grabbed his hands to steady herself and he started walking toward BJ at the starting line.</p><p>He could feel the heat of her on the back of his neck, the soft, smooth skin of her inner thighs on his cheeks and he thought about throwing her down on his cot, splaying her open and—</p><p>“Hawk!” BJ said, pulling him from his fantasy just in time. “You ready to lose?”</p><p>“Damn,” he muttered, exhaling quickly. Irene let go of his hands and he shook them, steadying himself to brace his palms against her thighs. In his head he was tearing into her, pressing his fingertips into her supple skin. </p><p>“Ow,” she winced, and he realized he was pushing too hard. Have to be soft with her.</p><p>“Sorry.” He took his place at the starting line, jostling around with the others, cheers from the crowd falling on deaf ears until he heard the shot and took off like a bolt out the gate.</p><p>Some of the more in shape men overtook him and Klinger tripped ahead of him, toppling in a mass of arms, legs, and laughter. Hawk made it out of the way in time, but Irene’s hands tangled in his hair as she instinctively kept herself balanced and Hawk groaned, happy for it to be drown out by the cheers. He imagined her pulling his head back by his hair, exposing his neck, placing soft kisses down this throat, and squeezing his hips with her knees.</p><p>She pressed against the back of his neck and he bit his lip, racing through the finish line well after BJ. His friend and nurse laughed and whooped and celebrated but Hawk couldn’t. He helped Irene off his shoulders and ran away from the crowd toward the Swamp before anyone could notice that he was pressing against his pants. </p><p>How the hell was he supposed to make it through the rest of the Olympics? </p><p>
  <strong>MASH Olympics – Part 2</strong>
</p><p>“Where were you?” BJ asked, clapping a hand on Hawk’s shoulder.</p><p>Hawk smiled awkwardly, “Uh, I needed a quick break.”</p><p>“Well let’s go, we have the gurney races next.”</p><p>“Yeah… Yeah I can handle gurney races.”</p><p>“Good. Irene’s waiting,” BJ said, pointing toward the starting line before trotting that way himself. Hawk groaned and followed. Irene was on her knees atop the gurney, leaned onto her hands while she talked to Alice. Hawk silently thanked whatever force would listen that army t-shirts weren’t low-cut, or he’d be in trouble. “C’mon Hawk. It’s a gurney race. Nice, innocent gurney race.”</p><p>“You ready? We’re going to win this time!” Irene was so excited, cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling. She was having fun. Fun. Right. That’s what they were doing.</p><p>Hawk grabbed the push bar and rolled the gurney next to BJ at the starting line. Don’t look at her ass, he thought, keeping his eyes ahead, though his knuckles were turning white. </p><p>Colonel Potter did the count down and fired his sidearm into the air and Hawk took off. The camp roared with laughter and the clatter of gurneys. Hawk couldn’t help it. He glanced down to see her cute, heart shaped rear bouncing as they rushed over rocks. Oh, how great she’d look in reverse cowgirl where he could watch her bounce just like this, hot and wet, sliding so easily down on his—</p><p>“Faster Hawk!” she yelled, and his knees nearly buckled. If only she knew how badly he wanted to grab her hips and feel her move against him. Yelling at him to go faster wasn’t helping.</p><p>“We can win, go faster!” she laughed, and Hawk had no choice but to pick up the pace or everyone would notice his growing…. Issue. </p><p>He glanced down. Damn, it was obvious. Hawk came up next to BJ and didn’t dare look at him. He only hoped his friend didn’t notice what was happening. They barreled through the finish line an instant before BJ and Nurse Kellye. Irene practically leapt at him, turning, and wrapping her arms around his neck so quickly the gurney slipped away. She slid down his front, rubbing against him, and ran to the other nurses to celebrate while Hawk made an emergency exit back to the Swamp. </p><p>“Fuck,” he groaned as he locked the door behind him. The shirt he’d used before was on his chair, sitting there. Accusingly. “Shut up,” he grumbled and leaned over the chair. This was going to be a long day.</p><p><br/>MASH Olympics – Part 3</p><p>“Are you alright?” Irene asked as Hawk shuffled toward where the others were crowded around. “You look terrible.”</p><p>Hawk forced a laugh, but he felt he was cracking up. “Oh yeah, right as rain. What’s next?”</p><p>“Tug-o-war. Klinger and Rizzo are finishing the mud pit now.”</p><p>Now that was a safe game! Hawk smiled triumphantly as he followed her toward the rope. For the first time in the day, BJ would be on the same team and at least he wouldn’t have to compete with him. BJ took a place at the start of the line, Alice and Margaret behind him. Hawk took up the rope behind Margaret and Irene stood behind him. Fantastic! He wouldn’t have to look at her and that shirt in the Swamp wouldn’t get any more love for the day. Victory!</p><p>The enlisted men lined up on the other side of the rope and Hawk laughed. </p><p>“What?” Irene asked.</p><p>“They’re going to beat the hell out of us. Hope you don’t mind getting muddy.”</p><p>“You sure seem happy about that.”</p><p>“It’s safe!”</p><p>She didn’t have time to say more. The shot fired and the rope pulled taut. He dug in his boots, but the corpsmen were too strong. The doctors and nurses slid, inch by inch, close to the mud pit until BJ took the tumble, splashing the two nurses behind him. Alice broke down laughing and followed, tripping Margaret in the process. </p><p>The rope slid across Hawk’s palms and he stumbled back into Irene before catching again and getting yanked to his belly in the pit where those who had fallen had started a mud fight. He rolled to his back and PLOP! Irene landed between his knees, her hips crushed to his thighs, breasts pressed to his chest, neck to his mouth and fuck, not this again.</p><p>She apologized and rolled away laughing. She had no idea his thoughts were running wild with her muddy and slick, sliding over him while his teeth were at her throat, nails raking down his back. He looked over to see Alice and Irene wrestling. Alice pulled Irene’s shirt down as she struggled to right herself and Hawk got a good view right down her top. Mud streaked her skin and his eyes traced the curve of her breast until it disappeared into her bra. Oh hell she looked good dirty and those thoughts kept getting darker. Pulling hair, sharp cries; all aggression, teeth and nails and holy shit he had to get out of here! </p><p>Hawk scrambled out of the mix where everyone else was more preoccupied with their mud fight than him fleeing back to the Swamp to that poor, pathetic t-shirt waiting for him.</p><p><br/>MASH Olympics – Part 4</p><p>“You look awful clean,” BJ said, trotting up beside Hawkeye, his clothes still crusted with half dried mud.</p><p>Hawk shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah I got a shower.”</p><p>“You’ve been running off all day, what’s the deal? You look like hell.”</p><p>Hawk bit his cheek and sneered out over the camp. They neared the water tower where a bunch of plywood had been propped against the back legs. Between the tent and plywood, they could see the nurses hosing each other off. One of them had put up a line with their towels in a multicolored row. </p><p>The pair of men paused, Hawk’s eyes glued on Irene who had pulled her muddy bra off under her shirt and was trying to rinse it but her shirt was soaked and he could see her nipples through the thin fabric. He envisioned one between his teeth, her back arching as he pulled her close, her breathing his name in his ear…</p><p>“Ahhh, I think I see the problem,” BJ chuckled, nudging Hawk’s elbow.</p><p>“Dammit Beej,” he growled, moving away from the scene, and rubbing his eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I haven’t been this sexually frustrated since I peeped on some girls skinny dipping from across the pond when I was 16.”</p><p>“Is that why you’ve been running off all day? Get a little…. Alone time?” BJ snickered.</p><p>“It’s not funny. I’m drained. Any more of this and I’ll need an IV.”</p><p>BJ held open the door of the Swamp for Hawk to shuffle through. He cursed and picked up his shirt with the tips of his fingers and dropped it on the floor before kicking it under the bed. Hawk flopped into his chair, leaning his eyes back and closing his eyes.</p><p>“Here,” BJ said, handing Hawk a martini. “You look like you could use it.”</p><p>“Today has been hell. Pure, unadulterated, hell.” He downed the drink.</p><p>“Wanna tell me about it?”</p><p>“It’s everything,” Hawk said, throwing his arms up in defeat. “Her thighs on my cheek, her ass bouncing on the gurney, and the way she landed on me in tug-o-war. One little thing and I picture the things I can do to her. That I want to do to her. Why am I such a mess over one little nurse?”</p><p>“Because you want her, and she’s turned you down. Repeatedly.”</p><p>“You can sound less happy about that.”</p><p>“Uh Hawk…”</p><p>He didn’t have to look down to know what BJ was talking about. He slammed the martini glass down and flopped onto his bed, rolling his back to BJ. “Dammit.”</p><p>“You need some help?” BJ snickered.</p><p>“Shut up. And don’t tempt me.”</p><p>MASH Olympics – Part 5</p><p>Finally, the sun had set, the games were over, and they could relax. He made it. By the skin of his teeth, but he made it. BJ talked about dinner like a starving man and Hawk hated the idea, but he needed it. The shirt he’d been using all day was beyond help and he pitched it in a drum where someone was burning scrap wood from the day’s events.</p><p>Most of the camp had come and gone by the time they got to the mess tent, having headed to the Officer’s Club to celebrate winnings, and mourn losses. Alice and Irene sat in a corner, drinking coffee and chatting. Hawk saw them and started to turn around, but BJ caught his arm and led him through the line to get their food.</p><p>“Steady Hawk. You’ve been at it how many times today? I don’t think you’ve got another shot to shoot. Relax and get something to eat.”</p><p>Hawk relented but cursed BJ under his breath when he led them right over to join the two nurses. BJ quickly scoot into the spot next to Alice, leaving Hawk to sit by Irene. She made room for him and congratulated him on their win in the gurney races.</p><p>“You left so quickly, I didn’t get a chance to say anything,” she said. “You look really bad, are you sick?”</p><p>Hawk forced a smile and opened his mouth, but BJ cut him off.</p><p>“He’s fine. Strenuous exercise always takes it out of him. Especially when it’s several times in one day. MASH Olympics has been strenuous for Hawk this year.”</p><p>Oh, that big-footed asshole, Hawk thought, clenching his teeth. What caught him off guard was the way Alice giggled into her cup. Did she know? How the hell would she?</p><p><br/>Klinger walked in and came over to them and when Irene turned to greet him, Alice locked eyes with him and made a hand motion that told him she knew. He looked at her in a mix of confusion and horror. She leaned in across the table and whispered. </p><p>“I saw you through the door,” before plopping back down on the bench where she and BJ had a nice chuckle.</p><p>“Sorry to bother you sir, but I was sent to give you this,” Klinger said, handing Hawk a bottle of saline solution.</p><p>“An IV?” he asked, puzzled, then he got the joke. Slowly he turned back to BJ who broke and roared with laughter. Hawk firmly placed the bottle on the end of the table.</p><p>“What did I miss?” Irene asked, and that was the end. Hawk sat, annoyed, and listened to BJ and Alice laugh themselves to tears while Irene was completely in the dark. With those two, he’d never live it down.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Stargazing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stargazing – Goodnight Irene War Extra</p><p>Hawkeye shuffled from the officer’s latrine and tied the belt of his robe loosely around his waist. Crickets chirped from a patch of grass nearby and Klinger passed between two tents, the sound of his rustling skirts catching Hawk’s attention. </p><p>Nights had been quiet the past few days as fighting in the area was on hold. The reasons didn’t matter, Hawk needed the silence. The sleep. He began to walk back to the Swamp when a pale figure caught his eye a few dozen yards away. </p><p>It was a nurse, stumbling across the compound in bare feet. He tilted his head as he watched her in the darkness wearing nothing but underwear and a t-shirt. Was she drunk or something? He went to intercept her and guide her back toward the nurses’ tents when Klinger came out from where he’d been and aimed the rifle at her.</p><p>“Password,” he demanded past the cigar in his teeth. </p><p>The nurse didn’t stop. She looked right through him and walked by as if he wasn’t there and Klinger turned to follow her movement. </p><p>Hawk jogged over and Klinger pulled the cigar from his mouth. </p><p>“That might be the spookiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said.</p><p>“I think she’s sleep walking.”</p><p>“Well we better stop her; she’s headed toward the mine field.”</p><p>“I got it,” Hawk said, trotting over to her. He came up beside her and realized it was Irene. His eyebrows shot up. “Irene?” </p><p>She didn’t reply and he pulled of his robe and held his breath as he draped it over her shoulders as she continued. When she didn’t wake he called her name louder and from a safer distance but still there was no reply.</p><p>“Dammit,” he grumbled and put his hands on her shoulders briefly to guide her away from the minefield and gave a sigh of relief when she started off away from danger. “You say I’m trouble.”<br/>Irene kept walking and Hawk was getting concerned she might keep going.</p><p>“Okay okay, time to go back now.” He put his arm around her shoulders to stop her, ducking his head in case she started swinging when she woke. </p><p>Her body went rigid at first and she pulled her arms up close to herself as she inhaled sharply. She looked around, disoriented, but at least she didn’t try to fight him.</p><p>“Hawkeye?” she asked groggily and he smiled down at her.</p><p>“So that’s how I get you to say my name huh? Gotta find you asleep and save you from the mine field.”</p><p>“What?” she looked around and he gave her a little space, holding her at arm’s length to ensure she was stable on her feet.</p><p>“You were sleepwalking.”</p><p>“Oh… I’ve never done that before.”</p><p>Hawk nodded. “That happens around here. Stress.”</p><p>“I suppose. Better than nightmares,” she chuckled bitterly, then she looked down. “Captain—”</p><p>“Shh, you have to stop saying that or they’ll think I’m in the army.”</p><p>“You’re not wearing pants,” she said, averting her eyes.</p><p>“Neither are you.”</p><p>Her eyes widened and she yanked his robe tight around her. “I should get back.”</p><p>“Wait,” he said, catching her arm. “Look, why don’t we take a walk up to the helipad and talk about what’s stressing you so bad that you’re taking midnight strolls through the war?”</p><p>She hesitated. </p><p>“No funny business,” he said, holding a hand up. “Scout’s honor.”</p><p>“I don’t want to bother you with my problems.”</p><p>“I don’t mind. I both the whole camp with mine. C’mon, Lieutenant. I won’t bite. Unless you want me to.” When she started to step back he held his hands up again. “Sorry, I’ll behave. Promise.” </p><p>Irene glanced back toward camp, which remained quiet and calm with the exception of Klinger before she decided to go with him. She took a few steps and he could tell that awake, the rocks were hurting her feet and he stopped her. </p><p>“C’mon. I’ll give you a ride,” he said, turning his back to her.</p><p>“Maybe this isn’t—”</p><p>“I can always carry you like a bride,” he began but she wasn’t hearing it. She climbed up onto his back and he hooked his arms under her thighs and hoisted her up. “Let me know if you get altitude sickness.”</p><p>“I’m not sure about this,” she said, clinging to his shoulders as he walked up the hill, boot laces dragging in the dirt. </p><p>“This place is perfect for star gazing.”</p><p>“I’m guessing you’ve shown many a nurse.” </p><p>“Are you insinuating something?”</p><p>“I call it like I see it Captain.”</p><p>They crested the hill and she slid from his back. </p><p>“You really have to stop saying that. I’m not supposed to be here.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” she smirked, hiking up his robe to climb up onto a boulder. “Then why are you here?”</p><p>“I was on my way to a nurses’ convention and got lost.”</p><p>“If you’re so bad at reading a map that you ended up thousands of miles away from your destination, I have to seriously doubt your abilities to find anything on a nurse,” she gave him a sidelong smirk and he laughed, hopping up beside her. </p><p>“That’s a little below the belt.”</p><p>Irene laid down with her head hanging over the edge of the boulder toward camp.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Hawk asked.</p><p>“When I was a kid I used to lay on the tables in the base park and hang my head over and pretend I was floating. After awhile you feel like you’re going to fall off the earth into the sky.”</p><p>“Probably all that blood rushing to your head.”</p><p>Irene shrugged and Hawk joined her. It did feel like he was floating. Like gravity might give way at any moment and he’d spiral toward the stars. He looked over at her, dark curls hanging in a mess across the stone. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about what’s got you stressed enough for midnight strolls?” he asked.</p><p>“Would it be wrong to say everything?” she smiled sadly. “This place… I know as a nurse I volunteered to come here and I should have expected it to be what it is, but it’s so much worse than I imagined it would be. And when I think about, well, people like you. Men who were drafted and have no choice to be here, it’s upsetting. Then to see those young kids on the table. It’s too much sometimes.”</p><p>“Had I been able to outrun the draft board I definitely wouldn’t have chosen to be here,” he smirked, but it was short lived. He was stuck, no doubt about that, but if he hadn’t been forced to come here, he wouldn’t be laying here with her. There was a bitterness that knew he’d go home damaged. He’d never be the same person he was before, but the people he’d met here had formed a bond unlike anything he’d ever had before. Then again, he couldn’t miss what he never knew. “Have you talked to Alice about it?”</p><p>“She has her own problems I don’t want to burden her.”</p><p>“We hang on to each other here,” Hawk said, propping up on his elbow to look down at her. She adjusted so her head wasn’t hanging off the boulder and met his gaze. “Even the nurses.”</p><p>“Especially the nurses?” she grinned.</p><p>He returned a tight-lipped smile. “Jokes aside, we’re all worried about losing it. We don’t talk about it because it would make it too real, but it’s there. That tension underneath it all. It’s a lot for all of us but we’re doing our best and part of that is leaning on each other every once in a while.”</p><p>“I guess so.”</p><p>“I’m always here for you to talk to.”</p><p>“I’m sure,” she laughed. “Thank you. Really.”</p><p>Hawk gazed up at the stars. It’d been a long time since he’d laid out and ignored the rest of the world. The milky way shone in a pale streak and more stars dotted the sky than he could count. The boulder was cool under him and Irene warm beside him and he felt more relaxed than he had in a while. </p><p>Irene’s hand found his and she hooked her pinkie with his. He turned to look at her but she didn’t move, only stared at the star lit sky. He smiled and put his head back, content.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>